Girls should come with a carfax report
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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