How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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