the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
