Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
