Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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