Christians are straight up FREAKS
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
