I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
