she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
