If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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