So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
did you just send me my own nude
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize