I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The power of my boobs compel you
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
