he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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