Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize