Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
