i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
