Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
