thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
COCAINE IS GR8
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
