My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
