You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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