if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
