I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my poor anus
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize