So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
my liver is dry heaving
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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