She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
