I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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