Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
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I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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