It's Friday. Sex?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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