I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
