I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
