I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
