just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This house was built for laser tag.
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
