i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
