too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
