Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
