Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
