So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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