so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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