I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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