they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
