from now on my penis is your penis
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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