we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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