why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
