I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
