Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
