who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I look better un-naked...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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