quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
