College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
