Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm like, not good at living.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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