Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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