Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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