I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You pole danced in your parka.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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