It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
