Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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