you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
