"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
NoShamevember. You game?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm always down for nudity.
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