yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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