I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
