did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
