I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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