people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
