So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
