The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
