I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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