No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Are we still banned from the library?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize