Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize