ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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