When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
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Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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