so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
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Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
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I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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