How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
